Darling Precious Honey Sugar Princess
by kuilaoshi
Summary: "We've been dating for 74 days, 6 hours and 34 minutes. Isn't it a bit soon for nicknames?" Leorio decides its time for nicknames, Kurapika isn't too fond of this idea.


September 14th

"Morning, Ruby."  
Kurapika groaned and rolled over in bed, squinting at the clock. 9 AM. "Ruby? Is that the name of that secretary of yours?"  
Leorio laughed. "Huh, guess you don't like that nickname." Propping himself up on his arms, he disentangles himself from the sheets and stretched.  
Kurapika sat up. "Nickname? We've been dating for 74 days, 6 hours and 34 minutes. Isn't it a bit soon for nicknames?" The numbers weren't necessarily accurate, but that wasn't the point.  
"So I take it you don't want a nickname?"

Kurapika shook his head. "Hell no," he hissed – a pet name would just be another blow to his admittedly mostly shattered pride. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and strode over to the closet, pointedly ignoring Leorio's quiet laughter from behind him as he pulled out his favorite sweater – the one with the bunny collage.

He was out in the kitchen in a few minutes, putting a kettle on as Killua and Gon made the kitchen their own personal battlefield. They'd been making pancakes, by the looks of things, but had somehow ended up getting batter all over each other. The pancakes themselves came out decent, but the mess was something to behold: most of the batter had made its way into Killua's hair, and the bowl ended up on Gon's head. Both of them were covered in pancake batter at this point and attempting to sling it at Leorio – Kurapika, their initial target, had been quick to dodge, and the discovery that Leorio wasn't too bad himself caused the boys to turn on each other once again.  
"Killua, it's all in my hair!" Gon whined as he smeared a generous handful of batter onto a protesting Killua's cheek.  
"Your hair?! Look at mine, you asshole!" Angered, Killua grabbed for the syrup bottle. Hell, no, not in Kurapika's kitchen. With a smack of his dowsing chain, Kurapika knocked the bottle back onto the table, still unopened. Killua scoffed loudly in disappointment. "Geez, you're no fun."  
The blond took a sip of tea. "Not in my kitchen."

Fight mostly resolved save for a little routine hair-pulling and name-calling, Killua and Gon left the kitchen to take a shower before school, leaving Leorio and Kurapika alone once again. "Sooo…" Leorio started, and Kurapika could literally feel another question about nicknames coming on just by the tone of his voice.  
"No." Kurapika simply said, taking another sip of (miraculously, still hot) tea.  
"C'mon, you're no fun. I came up with a good one!"  
Kurapika gave him a suspicious look over the top of his mug, unwilling to admit that he was a little interested in just how bad this one was. "What."  
"How about…Angel?" If looks could kill, the resulting glare would at least bring about completely crippling despair; Leorio just smiled. "Perfect! I mean, look at that face." He slid onto the couch next to Kurapika and made a grab for his cheek, laughing as Kurapika fought to pull away – Nen user Leorio was not, but he definitely had a strong grip.  
Once he'd managed to escape, Kurapika rolled his eyes, rubbing at his sore cheek – "Whatever, I don't care." Trying to retain some kind of dignity, he took another sip of tea – it had cooled considerably at this point, and he made a face.  
"Does that mean I have free reign on the pet names?" Leorio grinned, almost creepily. With a little bit of unease, Kurapika put down his mug before sighing considerably loudly.

"Fine."

Leorio practically leaped out of his seat and hurried to the white board. Next to the Kurapika vs. Spiders tally chart (the score was 3 to 8, by the way) he added another list: "Nicknames for Kurapika".

September 23rd

"Bye Kurapika, Leorio! We're off!" Gon called as he and Killua retrieved their backpacks, making their way to the door.  
"Have a good day at school, Gon! Don't get arrested, Killua."  
Killua rolled his eyes. "No promises, Kurapika," he grumbled as he followed Gon out the door and kicked it closed; the slam resounded through the apartment, and caused Leorio to spill his coffee all over himself.  
"Ah, shoot! I've gotta change…Hey, Kit Kat, can you get me my briefcase?"

It took a second to register.

"Oh, sure! I…" Kurapika froze at the realization of what he'd just answered to and slowly turned to look at Leorio. "Kit Kat? What the hell kind of nickname is that?"  
Leorio shrugged. "I guess that one's a bust too. It started with K, so I had to give it a shot."  
Kurapika was so close to splashing hot tea in his face. Maybe next time, or whenever they stared getting weirdly inappropriate. He quietly slunk off to get Leorio's briefcase, assuring himself that next time, he'd be prepared.

September 30th

"I'm home!" Leorio called as he entered the apartment, shutting the door with his foot on the way in. 7:14 pm. Kurapika put his book down and turned to smile at Leorio over the back of the couch; the boys were on the loveseat, legs tangled together as they tried to do homework in the most awkward position possible.

"Killua, what's 9 times 12?" Gon scratched the back of his head with the eraser of his pencil.  
"144," the white-haired boy replied absently as he scribbled down answers for their biology homework.  
Setting down his briefcase, Leorio made his way over to where Kurapika was sitting and dropped a kiss on the blond's head. "Hey, princess."  
It seemed like time stopped in that moment. Kurapika dropped his book; out of the corner of his eye he could see that Killua's mouth had flown open and he had started to grin. In the silence of the living room, Gon giggled.  
"W-W-Wha…" God damnit, Leorio had gone and caught him off guard – this meant war, but a war he was currently too embarrassed to fight. Killua now had blackmail material.  
"Hm? Aren't cha gonna answer, princess?"  
Gon's giggling increased, and Kurapika watched in mild horror as he covered his mouth to try and stifle it. Kurapika was in full fight or flight action; what he really wanted to do was retreat to his bedroom and never come out, but instead picked up his book as calmly as possible. "Hello, Leorio," he said very quietly – almost a whisper – as he buried his face back in his book.  
Killua somehow managed to high five Gon in the weird position they were in, and Leorio laughed loudly. Kurapika didn't speak for the rest of the night, not even at dinner.

October 8th

Surprise visits at work weren't always something that happened for Kurapika. A job at the hospital was very demanding: Leorio never had the time during the day. But, somehow, he managed to do so.  
When it happened, Kurapika was busy painting Neon's nails a pretty shade of blue. "Oohh, can you use the stick on hearts too, Kurapika?" she cheerily inquired.  
Kurapika nodded, donning a warm smile. "Of course, m'lady." He had gotten really good at doing people's nails during his time with the Nostrades.  
Looking up from Neon's hand, he noticed Senritsu in the doorway. "Kurapika, you have a guest," she said, and Kurapika sighed: he really wasn't ready to deal with Killua in handcuffs asking for bail money again. But instead, it was Leorio who met his gaze as he started to put the small heart-shaped jewels onto Neon's nails; Neon's small hand dryer's buzzing was the only sound in the room as Kurapika stared at him. Leorio approached and placed a kiss on his temple.  
"So how's work going, lamb?"  
Kurapika's eyes flashed red. Not in the middle of work. NOT IN FRONT OF NEON.  
"Lamb?" Neon tilts her head. "That's cuuuute! I like that! Can I call you lamb too, Kurapika?" she asked, innocent to the horror in Kurapika's eyes.  
"U-uhm, I would prefer it if you didn't, m'lady." She looked a bit disappointed, but came right back with the next question.  
"Is this your husband?"  
Leorio grinned. "Yep! I sure am. And Kurapika is my loving wif- GAH!" Leorio coughed as Kurapika stomped on his foot.  
"Nice to meet you!" She smiled up at the taller man before turning her attention back to Kurapika. "Oh, my other hand is done drying." She presented her newly-dry nails, and Kurapika started to stick on the next round of hearts; Leorio left soon after, but not without giving Kurapika a hard slap on the ass. This was the worst war he chose not to fight, Kurapika lamented to himself.

October 19th

The list had grown considerably. Now it included names like 'babe', 'honey', 'darling', 'beloved', and 'pumpkin' ("It's seasonal," Leorio had insisted when Kurapika started protesting). All of them, when uttered, usually earned Leorio an elbow to the stomach or a stomp on the foot – or, in extreme cases, a slap.

Kurapika noticed the list on his way to change the 'Kurapika vs. Spiders' tally (he'd found a spider in his bookcase that morning and cried. Hard. Spiders: 9.) and sighed: the list had grown since yesterday, but on the bright side, it could be worse, right?  
As he replaced the dry-erase marker, he felt a pair of hands grab his hips, and someone lean in close to his ear. "Whatcha doing, Sugar Plum- URK!" Kurapika delivered a decisive blow to Leorio's stomach, making him cough and crumple.  
"This is getting ridiculous." Kurapika sighed. "And don't use that one again if you value your life."  
Leorio sputtered. "G-Got it."  
"But," Kurapika continued, "I don't mind you calling me darling."


End file.
